3 more years before judgement day.

Since i was young i dun think there was ever something or someone i could forward for or to.
I dun remember talking to my father when i was a young kid prolly only my grandfather and mother.In Thailand,zero communication,we are just world's apart.My mum was a retard in bring up a child with moral support.Stepfather was a dumbass to have married my mum.Well my mum is successful really.A kampung girl who did not speak a single word of English to a once business owner and retired at 40 with enough savings to support us.But she is really socially retarded.Maybe that is where i got it from.Well maybe some.If i look back at life now.There's prolly just so little i take dear of.
Money?Car?Alcohol?Girls?Not really.Quite a pity i did not grow up like that coz things will be superficial and simple.
Love life?I seem to screw things up when it comes to that department.Well like there say have or dun have leave it fate anyway there are so many broken hearted people in this world.But think of it on your death bed.Before you die,you think about people.Right now if i die,i know who i gonna think about and its less than 10 people if i eliminate with priority maybe 5 even.
So what's judgment day? Its when i hit 30.There's 3 years now.I do not want to be living with my mother anymore.I need to shift out.That's 1.
I must be financially stable 2.3 hopefully i find my other half.Who i can love wholeheartedly every single day in our own little world.That's not much to ask right?Oh ya i dun wanna be fat and ugly too haha.
Maybe that's why someone i knew hung himself in his room.He was already engaged.Super good looking.Talented with music and arts.But he chose to give up.Maybe he wasn't happy with how things were going?How should i kill myself when i fail i wonder.If i dun live a life i might as well dun waste resources for people who already have a life.I can live but without living a life there is no point.You are just gonna get old,wither away.Like Kurt Cobain said its better to burn out than fade away.BAM!shotgun to the head at 27.I gonna give it till 30.I am a late bloomer =)